Guess Who?

Here is the 1st Act of a play I’ve been writing.

Guess Who?

A single light is reflected on the stage illuminating two small boys sitting at a table to the far left of the stage.

John: (In an English accent) Will you stop trying to see what’s inside the package, you’ll find out soon enough.

Tom: ahh , but I want to see right now. What do you think it is John? Think maybe it’s a skateboard, or a Wii, or maybe its what you’ve always wanted…a girlfriend. (laughs)

John: Oh shut up Tom, Grandpa usually gets me something educational, like a book, or map.

Tom: A map? What would you do with a map?

John: Oh I dunno, see where I’m goin, find my way around, I don’t know.

Tom: Ah come on John, just open it.

John: (Frustrated with Tom) No, mom wants to take a picture of me opening it to send it to my grandparents, it’s tradition.

Tom reaches for the package and this time manages to rip a small part of the package. The curtain behind the boys barely opens.

John: You idiot! Look what you did!

Tom: (Sarcastically) Ahh I didn’t mean to. Can you tell what it is!

John: (In utter amazement) I don’t believe it!!!

Tom: No way, there’s a girl in there!

John: No! It’s a board game.

Tom: A board game! I love board games, which one is it?

John lifts up the ripped paper to try and get a closer look. The curtain behind the boys opens a little further.

John: Well, I can’t quite see…

Tom suddenly reaches over and rips off the wrapping paper. The curtain springs open revealing a life size version of the popular board game…

Tom/John: (Very cheesely) GUESS WHO?!!! I love this game!

John:(angry) Hey get your hands off it!

Tom: (angry) No! let go, I just wanted to take a look.


In the background the actors in the life size board of “Guess Who?” are jumping around and screaming hysterically while the boys wrestle with the box.

Unknown Guess Who Character: Oh my gosh! It’s an Earth Quake!

Claire: (shaking hysterically) Oh please, I’m too young to get a wrinkle.

Phillip: (Stuttering) Hey, this kinda tickles.

Unknown Guess Who Character bangs his head and appears to be knocked out. In the mean time John finally gets the box from Tom.

John: Will you relax ya stupid butt scratcher! We have to set it up before we can play anyway.

Tom: (angry) I don’t scratch my butt!

John exits the stage with Tom close behind him. Tom stops just before leaving the stage and picks a wedgie.

Guess Who characters are getting ready to play the game by getting out of their PJs and getting dressed, combing their hair and putting on their makeup. A few men switch toupees that obviously need switching and a man wearing a huge red wig rips it off and places it on the bald women next to him. Now revealing that he is actually just as bald.

Phillip: (cowboy) Well, are you ready to lose Claire? I’ve got a funny hunch that one of these here boys are gonna pick me.

Claire: (Fat Black Women) Oh I don’t think so Phillip, I think we all know that young boys always pick the prettiest first.

Phillip: Well I don’t know about (looks over at the Unknown Character) Hey, what’s the matter with him. Is he still sleepin,.. he better get up, the games about to begin.

Claire: Oh my we better wake him.

Claire pokes the man with her umbrella. The unknown character wakes up startled and confused as he looks at his surroundings.

Phillip: Hey mister, you alright?

Unknown Character: Where am I?

Phillip: (laughs) What do you mean where are you? You’re in the Board Game “Guess Who”, boy you funny. What’s your name partner?

Unknown Character: My name, I…I don’t remember.

Phillip: You don’t even know your own name (laughs) boy you must’ve hit your head hard.

Claire: Oh my goodness! I think he’s got amnesia!

Unknown Character:(scared and has a hard time pronouncing amnesia) I’ve got amnesia!... What’s amnesia?

Claire: Well, basically it’s when you forget who you are.

Unknown Character: You forget who you are?(thinks for a moment) Holy Smokes! I forgot who I am!

Phillip: Yep, he’s got amnesia.

Unknown Character: What’ll I do, I’ve got to know who I am?

Claire: Well, the easiest solution would be for you to win the game.

Unknown Character: Win the game? Alright, what do I have to do?

Phillip: Nothin really, you just sit here til they start calling out stuff like “does your person have facial hair?” If Tom here says “Yes,” then me and Claire and anyone else that has facial hair will stay up and those who don’t have facial hair will go down.

Claire: (angry) Excuse me!

Phillip: Oh I’m just kiddin, (shakes his head at Unknown Character) anyhow they just keep doing that til there’s only one person standing.

Claire: Yes, and you’ve got to be the last one standing.

Unknown Character: Why?

Claire: Because then you’ll win the game!

Unknown Character: (confused) Okay, but how’s that going to help?

Claire: Oh I’m sorry, I almost forgot. They’ll say your name.

Unknown Character: They’ll say my name!

Claire: Yes, and then hopefully you’ll remember who you are.

Unknown Character: Yes that’s got to work. When can we start this game!

Phillip: Well you’re in luck Partner, were just about to start one right now.

Tom and Johns voices are heard over the speakers.

John: You ready to play yet?

Tom: You ready to loooose ,Johnny Boy?

John: Bring it on Tom Tom.

Tom: You first.

John: Duh I’m first, it’s my game you git.

Phillip: (Excitedly) Oh Boy, here we go!

Silly music sounds to initiate the game.

John: Does your person have a hat?

Tom: No.

Guess Who characters wearing hats go down.

Tom: Does your person have facial hair?

John: Yes?

Unknown Character: Wait! What’s going on?

Claire: What?

Unknown Character: How come nobody went down?

Claire: Oh, I forgot to tell you. There’s two sides of this board. We’re the Red side and the others are the Blue side. So each side takes turns trying to guess who the other persons’ got. But don’t worry about it to much, you’ll get to where you’ll just tune out the blue side without even thinking about it

Unknown Character: Wait! I’m confused. Who’s on the blue side?

Claire: (As if giving a warning) We don’t talk about who’s on the other side… But I hear they something ugly.

Unknown Character: AGH! That’s awful!

Claire: Sometimes we can even hear them talking in the game box, laughing, and giggling, making fun of the way we talk, or poking fun if they win.

John: Is your person bald?

Tom: No.

Claire: They even make fun of our names.

Unknown Character: What?! Why would they make fun of your names?

Claire: I don’t know. They just say things like. Jared is stupid, Phillip laughs like a girl, or (interrupted)

John: Is your person a girl?

Tom: No.

Claire (Enraged and angry she yells with a clenched first waving towards the heavens while she is being put down) WHAT! WHY YOU SEXEST BAST… muffled angry noises.

Unknown Character looking terrified looks over at Phillip

Phillip: (leaning over) Don’t worry, her periods bout up.

Claire: (angry) I heard that!

Awkward Silence as Phillip and Unknown Character look at each other scared.

John: Does your person have a big nose?

Tom: No.

Phillip: Well, that’s my cue, hey you’ve bout won this here thing.

Phillip is set down with a number of other Guess Who characters.

Unknown Character: (looking behind him) Holy smokes he’s right. There’s only me and you.

Fred: Yes and soon there will only be me. (evil laugh)

Unknown Character: What? Why, are you going to be the last one?

Fred: Because I am Fred the destroyer (silly laugh)… ah I’m just kidding. I’ve got 50/50 chance though.

Unknown Character (Looks forward and speaks to himself) What a strange person.

John: Does your person have glasses?

Tom: No.

Fred: Ahh Shucks!

Fred is set down.

Unknown Character: Yes! Yes! I’ve won (holds out his arms) give me my name, give it to me!

Unknown Character is slammed shut and the curtain is closed.

Curtain Opens to reveal that all the characters have changed their position except for the Unknown Character.

Unknown Character: (rubbing his head) What happened?

Marge: You lost my dear.

Unknown Character: Whoaa! Who are you?

Marge: Speak up my dear I don’t hear so well.

Unknown Character: (Slowly) WHERE DID THE GUY GO THAT USED TO BE HERE.

Phillip: I’m over here partner.

Unknown Character: What are you doing way back there?

Phillip: Oh them kids switched us all around. They do that once in a while, not sure why. Anyhow you lost bud, the blue team beat ya at the last second.

Unknown Character: What!? But how, I was the last one.

Phillip: Oh, it happens, but you got bigger problems to worry bout, you sittin next to Marge and she’s a witch.

Unknown Character: SHHH! (whispering) She’s right here.

Phillip: Ah don’t worry, she couldn’t hear a Cow if it moooed in her ear. Her husband on the other hand can hear just fine.

Unknown Character: Who’s her husband.

Doug: (Extremely Loud) I AM!

Unknown Character: Oh, hello.

Doug: (Extremely Loud) Hello, I’m Doug but everyone calls me Dog and that beautiful creature on your right side is my wife, Marge.

Phillip: Hey why don’t we call your wife a different name that means dog too.

Doug: Oh, and what would that be?

Phillip:(looking guilty) Uhh… Well I’ll give you a hint, it rhymes with witch. (Laughs)

Doug: (looking angry and then suddenly laughs) Hey that’s pretty good.

Marge: Honey, what are you discussing with that horrible creature!

Doug: (loud and talking into the unknown characters ears) Nothing my sweet! I was just telling our friend here how lucky he is to be sitting here between us than those two idiots.

Marge: Oh I don’t like bacon bits my dear. They get stuck in my dentures and… (interrupted)

Doug: NO! that’s not what I said! He’s an idiot my dear.

Marge: No I don’t want a beer neither.

Everyone looks at Marge as if she’s out of her mind.

Unknown Character: (Smiles) You’re a very lucky man to have such a beautiful woman.

Doug: Oh really, would you like to be married to that old hag.

Unknown Character: Oh come on she can’t be that bad. Why I remember someone saying that women age like fine wine.

Doug: (looks at the unknown character as if he’s an idiot) I think she aging like milk.

Doug/Phillip both laugh very hard.

Claire: (clears her throat) I believe the game is about to begin.

Unknown Character: (Sigh) Thank goodness.

Silly music sounds to start the game.

John: (talking strangely like a knight in shining amour) Alright Tommy Boy, you may have vanquished me in our last duel, but tonight I shall run you through!

Tom: Why are you talking that way?

John: I don’t know, but does your person have red hair?

Tom: No.

Unknown Character: (desperate) Oh Please, I just have to win this time.

Marge: Oh! Oh! I’ve got it. (looks at her watch) It’s 7:34.

Unknown Character: (awkwardly) Thank you.

Marge: (Whips out a cane and hits the Unknown Character on the head) SPEAK UP!

Unknown Character: Ow! Why does everything hit me in the head.

Marge: (hits him again) I’ve got a good number of years left in me before I’m dead!

Unknown Character: (rubbing his head) WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF!

Marge: YOU PERVERT! (Hits him again).

Unknown Character: OUCH!

John: Is your person a girl.

Tom: No.

Claire: (angry) Oh you really are a sexest little scoundrel…(long pause) Aw excuse me little boy, but I believe you forgot to put me down…(Clears her throat) Excuse, (waving her arms) this is very embarrassing, I am clearly a woman.

Phillip: You could of fooled me! (laughs)

Claire: Oh I can’t believe you would say such a horrible thing.

John: Does your person have dark skin?

Tom: No.

Claire: WHAT! WHY YOU RACIST LITTLE…

Claire is set down before she can finish her sentence.

Doug: (Laughs) Serves ya right!

Unknown Character: (Still rubbing his head and stops suddenly upon hearing this remark) Doug? Are you racist?

Doug: Who me? No, I’m not racist. Why I love black people.

Unknown Character: Oh good, you had me worried there for a moment.

Doug: Yep, In fact I lov’em so much I think everybody should have one. (evil laughs)

Claire: SHUT UP CRACKER!

John: Does you person have glasses?

Tom? No.

Marge hits him over the head one last time before being set down.

Unknown Character: (Angry and rubbing his head.) You really are racist?!

Doug: Oh, I’m not really racist, I (interrupted)

Unknown Character: Then why would you say such a horrible thing.

Doug: Like I said, I’m just kidding so don’t take it the wrong way, why just the other day I had a barbeque with some of my Hispanic buddies… Wasn’t the best barbeque though?

Unknown Character: Oh, and why was that? Was the meat to dark?

Doug: No, the beans fell through the grill.

Phillip/Doug: (laugh)

Phillip: (almost crying from laughing so hard) I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh, but that was funny.

Unknown Character: (angry) How can you talk about people that way? Don’t you know they are just like you and me.

Doug: Hey now you just need to settle down there. I grew up in the south and that’s how we talk. There’s nothing to it. Why, I bet if you took a good look at me you would see a good, kind, loving person. In fact, just last month Helen Keller’s Dog ran away, I found it and I’ve been takin care of it ever sense.

Unknown Character: What? I don’t believe that. Why would Helen Keller’s dog run away?

Doug: You’d run away too if your name was Blablablablablablabla.

Phillip/Doug (laugh)

Unknown Character: Oh you think it’s funny to make fun of people just because of who they are. How would you like if I made fun of you.

Doug: I don’t care, I’m old, what can you say about someone who’s seen everything life has to offer.

John: Does your person have a small nose?

Tom: no.

Phillip: Wow, your in the final two again partner.

All Guess Who characters except Doug and the Unknown Character are set down.

Unknown Character: Hah! No evil racist slime like you will ever win this game as long as I’m here.

Doug: I’m not racist. I might walk down the road of hell once in a while, but I believe I’ve passed you on that road a few times, haven’t I?

John: You cheater! You looked at my card.

Tom: I did not,… I’m just brilliant!

John: Well I’ll just have to guess then, is your person Doug?

Tom: You cheater! You knew all along didn’t you?

John: Oh stop being a poor sport, I had 50/50 chance didn’t I.

Tom: Fine, best out of three. Loser has to wear a jock strap on their head on the next bike ride we take.

John: Deal!

Doug: (surprised and almost crying) They like me, They really like me!

Curtain closes and reopens only enough to reveal the Unknown Character.

Unknown Character: (heroic) I will win this game, no matter what it takes.

Curtain closes for a short while and then reopens to the sound of music from Rocky. Guess Who Characters have changed positions again except for the Unknown Character. All Guess Who characters are wearing robes and pretending to warm up for the third and final round by either punching imaginary foes, jump roping, and doing jumping jacks. Oh and one anonymous person in the back doing an exaggerated version of the Macarena.

Unknown Character: I’m going to win, I’m going to win, I’m going to win…

Peter: Are you okay?

Unknown Character: Yes, I’ve just really have to win this game.

Peter: Oh, and why is that?

Unknown Character: Because if I don’t, I won’t be able to figure out who I am.

Peter: Ah my son, I know who you are.

Unknown Character: You do! Well, then who am I!

Peter: You, (long pause) are a child of God.

Unknown Character: (Confused) HUH?

Peter: Yes, its brilliant isn’t it. Makes you feel all warm and cozy inside.

Unknown Character: No, not really.

Peter: What? Are you not familiar with God?

Angela: There is no God!

Unknown Character: Friend of yours?

Angela/Peter: NO!

Unknown Character: (sarcastically) Oh this is going to be a great game… I’m guessing that you are a preacher?

Angela: Preacher? HAH! More like a professional beggar!

Peter: Be gone you nonbeliever.

Angela: Ah, but I do believe…in science!

Silly music sounds to start the game.

Unknown Character: Oh thank goodness the game is about to begin.

John: Does your person have a big nose?

Tom: Yes.

Unknown Character quickly places a large nose over his original nose.

Peter: Hey! You’re cheating.

Unknown Character: No I’m not.

Angela: Yes you are, you put a fake nose over your real one.

Unknown Character: No I didn’t.

Peter: Yes you did, look.

Peter grabs his nose and pulls it away from his face. Then without warning lets go.

Unknown: Oh, that fake nose, it’s only temporary.

Angela: But that’s cheating.

Peter: Oh, and sense when do atheist care if someone is cheating?

Angela: I was a Jehovah Witness before I became atheist.

Peter: Oh, so now you go knocking on doors for no apparent reason.

Angela: (surprised) How did you know I (interrupted)

John: Is your person Fat?

Unknown Character: (sucks in his gut and holds his breath)

Tom: Yes.

Unknown Character: (Breaths hard and sticks out his gut)

Peter: You won’t get away with this you know. Cheaters never prosper.

Angela: Oh please, you don’t really believe that do you.

Peter: Yes, its in the Bible.

John: Does your person have glasses?

Tom: Yes.

Unknown character puts on an enormous pair or glasses.

Peter: Boy, I bet if you would go to church you wouldn’t be cheating.

Angela: Oh whatever. My mom made me go to church every Sunday until I was 18 and the only thing I learned was how to be quiet.

Peter: Well if you had learned to be quiet sooner you may have learned something good.

Angela: Whatever! The only reason I learned to be quiet was because I kept waking everybody up.

Peter: OH YOU ARE THE WORST PERSON I HAVE (interrupted)

John: Does your person have orange hair?

Tom: Yes.

Unknown Character reaches behind him and tears the red wig off the woman sitting behind him. Peter and Angela tear off pieces of the wig and stick it on their heads.

Peter: Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

Angela: Oh come on, you really believe everything that’s in the Bible.

Peter: Of Course I do.

Angela: Oh yeah, well what about that guy that got eaten by a whale.

Peter: Jonas?

Angela: Yeah, How’d he breath and eat in a whale?

Peter: I don’t know, but I will ask him when I get to heaven.

Angela: What if he’s not in Heaven? What if he’s in Hell?

Peter: Then you ask him.

John: Is your person a girl?

Tom: Yes.

Unknown Character makes a puppy dog face as he and all the rest of the men are set down.

Claire: Ha! Take that you Pigs!

Slowly the Unknown Character rises wearing sloppy lip stick a dress and a set of enormous crooked boobs.

Claire(angry) Cheater! You can’t do that, you’re going against everything we are allowed to do!

Claire reaches over and pops one of the Unknown Characters boobs with her umbrella.

Unknown Character:(embarrassed) Oh my, that’s awkward.

Unknown Character starts blowing up another balloon.

Claire: Oh, you really want to know who you are eh? Well then, I think I know just what to do with you. (evil laugh)

Unknown Character: I, I don’t care, all that matters is that I figure out who I am.

Claire: Good, however in order to figure out who you are, I think we need to figure out if you’re Good …or Bad.

John: Is your (interrupted)

Tom: Oh crap your moms home!

John: Hurry, put it away!

Guess Who Characters go crazy as if in an earthquake. During the quake Claire pushes the Unknown Character off the board. Once the Unknown Character is off the board the curtains rapidly close and everything goes quiet and dark except for a single light focused on the Unknown Character.

Rising to his knees the Unknown Character looks around until he focuses his gaze upon the audience and asks.

Unknown Character: (Very sincerely) Who are you?

A minute of silence follows.

End of Act one.

.410 Shotgun

Dad had just gotten home and called my brother Seth and I up stairs. When we walked into the living room dad was proudly holding a brand new .410 shotgun / 30mm survival rifle. I think I said something like. "Wow dad, does mom know you bought this?"
Dad: "No, this is going to be just between us, that way when were camping and a we need some protection, I can whip this out and surprise your mother." (It was something like that.)
Dad had us grab our shotguns and .22s and we headed out to the vale hills to do some shooting.
First on the agenda of course was shooting the brand new .410. If I remember right we set it up to shoot a couple of 30mm shells first, after that we got it ready to shoot the .410 shotgun shells. Seth and I tried to shoot a few clay pigeons with it but were unsuccessful. We blamed it on how small the shells were.
Dad then had a revolutionary idea. He wanted to see the pattern that the .410 shotgun was creating. So he had Seth prop up a big piece of board that happened to be there. I don't think dad realized it was a 1" 1/2 piece of plexiglass. (For his pride we'll say he didn't)
I remember looking at that plexiglass and thinking "There's no way that gun is going to shoot through this."
Seth/Sam : "Dad I don't think you should shoot this thing."
Seth and I both voiced our concerns about shooting at the plexiglass, but dad wouldn't hear it. I believe his comment was, "If you're scared go hide behind the car." and that's exactly what we did.
Dad shot.
AHGH! @#$%
Dad immediately drop the .410 and grabbed his face. Seth and I both darted over to see what had happened. Well, it was obvious. About ever 2 inches of dad's face had a small pellet wedge into it. Dad had hit it's target perfectly and then all those pellets had come ricocheting right back at him.
I remember saying something like "Well, you'll be able to see the pattern for sure now." (he told me to shut-up.)
Seth and I dug out all the pellets that we could, but it was obvious that we were going to need some tweezers or something to get the rest out.
We packed up everything and Seth and I tried to convince dad that one of us should drive. (We were just trying to get a chance to drive because we couldn't yet.)
Dad ended up driving, but I remember looking all over the car for napkins and then finally I think we grabbed a towel off of his golf club bag so he could wipe all the blood off of his face. It wasn't until we were driving past Sam and Sydney Hartley's house that I saw dad get very nervous. The silver bullet (our old 12 passenger van) was waiting at a stop sign with Mom and Bryce in it. (Mom was picking up Bryce from work) Dad had us cover up his face so Mom couldn't see him when we drove by. Dad raced home because he didn't want mom to see. (I'm pretty sure mom knew something was up.) As soon as dad parked in the driveway, he was out the door and racing up the walkway with the towel over his head, mom was coming around the corner. (I've never seen dad move that fast.)
Seth and I were assigned to distract mom until dad could get into the bathroom.
Mom's first words were, "What happened?"
Seth/Sam: uhh.......
Mom: What's going on?
Seth/Sam: uhh...
Mom: Will you just tell me what's going on!
Seth/Sam: uhh...just go look at dad.
Mom had a hard time of convincing dad to finally open the bathroom door, but dad finally did. I believe mom's first words were. "What happened to your face?"
Mom spent the next hour or so digging pellets out of dad's face. There was however one pellet that she just couldn't get. I believe it was in dad's left earlobe. A pellet had found its way inside and stayed there the rest of his life. I know there were times that I was thankful for that remaining pellet, as I am sure there are others in my family who would say the same thing. For after that day, when ever I did something stupid and made dad really mad, all I had to do was grab his earlobe and remind him that he had done stupid things too.

I know there are many different versions of this story. If you would like to add or correct anything that I have written please leave a comment and I'll add or make any necessary changes.

Paris, France, Eiffel Tower, and Empire State Building

It was just after my twin brother Seth and I had received our mission calls to serve as missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints. I was called to Sao Paulo Brazil and he was called to New York, New York. I'm not sure how the conversation started but I said something to the affect of "Hey you'll get to see the Eiffel Tower!" (I was thinking of the Empire State Building)
Seth turned around and said "The Eiffel Tower?"
Me: "Not the Eiffel Tower, the Eiffel Tower is in Paris."
Seth: "No, the Eiffel Tower isn't in Paris, it's in France."
(It was something like that)

The Three Story House

Thirteen passenger van, filled to the brim,

Chugs along the swamp so grim.

Screaming and yelling, singing with a rin-ah-tin-tin

All thirteen eating the crumbs from an empty bin.

Mom worries about the smallest three,

Father screams, Bee! Bee!

Driving the fresh commute to another unknown road,

The three-year-old screams, you’ve squashed a toad!

Without request the limo-van drags itself to a halt,

Choking on smoke within its vault.

Singing a sad tune, ending with a spit and sputter

Oh FISH STICKS, Father mutters.

But on the horizon they cross their luck,

A three-story house, made above the muck.

Buzz, biz, biz, buzz, buzz, -- biz, buzz.

Hehe! Haha! little Liz does buzz the door

Buzz, biz, biz, buzz, buzz, -- biz, buzz.

A man appears, he’s holding William Shakespeare

No help have we, oh please

They can wait in the shade, but stay out of site

Mind the dogs, they do bite.

Buzz, biz, biz, buzz, buzz, -- biz, buzz.

Back to the car, to conjure a new plan,

They decide to push the van.

Heave! Ho! The kids ran over dads toe!

They see a mailbox, its name is Moe,

Down the dirt road they spot a shack,

It’s a miracle, it’s still intact.

A man appears, he’s holding a beer,

What seems to be the problem? Howdy, my dear!

Inside you thirteen, there’s water and bread.

If you’re tired, you can share my couch and bed.

Three hours gone by, father wakes, thinking it must be a lie.

The van is washed and ready to roll good-bye!

All aboard, they hoot and holler!

Waving to Moe, who seems a little taller.

A Divine Gift

If you were to come into our home and sit down for a bit, a common word would be ringing through your ears. Lizzy, Liiizzzzzzzyyyyy, LIZZY! said in many different ways, fast and slow, high or low, soft and hard. Each being the same word and yet with so many different meanings behind the way it's said. Elizabeth Grace Ellsworth came into our lives December 11th, 2008. Since then its been late nights, early mornings, ewes and ahhs, and a few "hold your nose" moments sprinkled in-between.
Grace, being her middle name came from outta nowhere. My wife came up with it first and I instinctively replied "no". We argued about it for sometime, my reasoning being that neither one of us had a relative named Grace. Her reasoning being it sounded pretty. It wasn't until I was sitting in class one day that I had decided to look up the word grace. (I had gotten bored with the teachers lecture and decided to do something to stimulate the brain.) It's definition surprised me and frankly was a slap to the face. Once again proving that the wife is always right.
Grace: A divine gift from God to help or strengthen, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ. King James Bible, Bible Dictionary, Grace, pg. 697.
I know it may seem silly to think of a crying baby, who's scared of just about everything, finds her way into everything, and eats everything, would seem like a great gift. However I must say there are some great gifts she has given our little family.
Lizzy is always happy to see me, even when I'm not necessarily thrilled to be up at 2 a.m. to see her.
Even when I get frustrated with her, she responds by smiling back at me and singing for me at the top of her lungs.
While I spend money shopping for the juiciest burger at the nearest fast-food restaurant and then try to cook new things so that I don't have to eat the same thing two days in a row, she is excited to receive her same old mush everyday at the exact same time.
I spend time and money looking for ways to entertain myself through movies, TV, video games, books, internet, sports, and more. She spends her time looking for her purple hippo.
I look for the newest electronic gadget or gizmo, LCD TV, Playstation 3, ipod, netbook, and more to add to my wish list. I think she's still just looking for her purple hippo.
She really is a divine gift, a humbling gift, a bring me back to reality gift, attached with a scream and a giggle.

Crime and Punishment

I was picking up one of my employees for work today because he was being punished by his parents for getting a low ACT score. His punishment being he was no longer able to have a car. On our way to work he described to me how strict his parents were. This got me thinking about how strict my parents were.

Overall I think my parents were pretty cool, however they were strict with all 8 of us kids. I being the youngest by a mere two minutes of my twin brother. ( I like to joke that he had to eat my crap while in the womb because I sat on top of him.) Anyway, my parents were strict, at least my father was. I remember one day I had gotten into a fight with one of my older brothers. Dad was furious, but he knew just what to do. He grabbed a pair of real handcuffs, he had given to me for my birthday, and handcuffed my brother and I together for an entire day. We literally had to do everything together and get along. If we didn't get along, another day would be added to our punishment.

We learned to get along with each other real quick and fight only when we knew dad wasn't around. However, Dad somehow seemed to be able to show up in the most unlikely of places.